a much needed update

It's been a while since my last post... Sorry!!! Here's what's been going on in my life.... School!! Ha! Sadly that's all I seem to do anymore. On the rare occasion that I'm not doing homework of some kind I'm doing 1 of 3 things: eating, sleeping, or planning on what to do next!!!
The good news is that graduation is only 30 short days away... I can honestly tell you that something major is due everyday from now to then. Presentations, papers, choreography, tests... you name it! Overloaded and overwhelmed to say the least. The last 4 years of my life may have actually prepared me for this amount of stress. Weird. I suppose I just need to keep my fingers crossed that all of this will prepare me for the future.... Maybe you should cross your fingers too (just in case)!!!!!
I know that college has be an experience worth my time... A million times more fun and memorable than high school... But it would be a lie if I said I wasn't ready to be done.... One more moment of school may kill me!!
Hopefully more posts of more interest to follow!!!!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

the light at the end of the tunnel...

Life is crazy... Well technically life for me hasn't really started yet!!! I have 2 months left of school and I'm so thrilled to get something out of 4 years of work and play!!! After that I get to jump into the real world and face this thing called life head on... I'm terrified!! Ha!
School is hard, but it's always been hard, and right now it's the last thing on my mind. I am constantly asked what my plans are after graduation, I typically give some big long detailed schpeal which breaks down to a whole lot of nothing! That's the sad truth: I don't have a plan. I guess my plan is to move out of Rexburg then regroup and think of a new plan!!! There are oodles of options though.... Work, grad school, relationships and such are filled with opportunities just waiting for me to choose. I keep trying to avoid making these choices. At present time I am able to stay calm with my distractions. But the greater part of my mind is kicking me to get off my butt, stop playing sudoku and start my real life!!!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

writer's block

a few weeks ago, in my hardest class, dance teaching techniques, my professor told us that are final projects were going to be due early. at first, i felt annoyed and rushed, but then i realized that after it was done, the final week and a half of school would be cake! the next two days after this announcement my remaining classes had almost identical announcements! and, my dance teaching tech. professor decided to give us a final paper and exam on top of our projects. why is it necessary for me to have finals almost two weeks early???? i'm convinced its a conspiracy against me! hahah.... but then again, it seems i'm always convinced the world is out to get me somehow! haha!
so my dance project is finished, i present tomorrow, and i should be witting my paper, because i'm only on page three of the required eight. but i can't seem to create enough filler bullshit to get my point across. i'm not a writer, and so writer's block comes very easily to me. i also just assume that every knows exactly what i'm talking about. i wish i could just have a discussion about my paper instead of actually having to write it!!!! i may go insane writing about my dance teaching philosophy... BAH!
funny that i can always write a long post about almost nothing, but i can't seem to write my paper about my passion! i'm secretly hoping that blogging may unlock something deep in my brain and allow me to get this stupid thing done! yeah... i doubt it too! ha!

lent... and more of life...

SOOOO.... my friend meredith and i decided to go on an adventure for lent. if you have no idea what i'm talking about... wiki it! or just rent the movie "40 days and 40 nights" with josh hartnet. basically during lent, you choose to give up something (usually a vice) for 40 days, starting on ash wednesday (this past wednesday) and it ends on easter sunday. that's more or less why mardi gras is such a huge party day, because its the day before lent starts! in the movie, josh (yes we're on a first name basis) gives up sex... well meredith and i are only giving up facebook! it should be a huge adventure! we had other people change our passwords and everything. i'm already missing it. which goes to show that this is really something i needed to do. i clearly spend too much time on facebook for my own good. i'm hoping that i'll be much more productive and maybe even more adventurous... i'll certainly be blogging more to sort of replace the void facebook has left in my life! wow! that makes me sound so lame.... freaking facebook left a void... yeah... this is most definitely for the better!!!!!
moving on to other adventures...
i registered for my last 4 college classes only moments ago, and i could not be more thrilled to truly see the end. i'm not sure why, but i just feel more free. i still don't have a plan for my life after graduation (which of course scares me), but i'm starting to be okay with that. i know that i have options, and time. i also know that time will continue to fly, so its a good thing i'm a goal oriented person... all i really need is a good idea and i could be set.
life as thrown me some interesting curve balls lately, but i think i'm starting to get the hang of this batting thing! i'm done with all this stress caused by things i can't control. it really takes the fun out of life! i've taken my deep breath, i've counted to ten... i'm ready to start living my life again!!!

bring on the leotard and tights!!

yes... its that special time of year... time to start wearing leotards and tights under every outfit, time to only pretend like i have a life, time for school to start again! this term is a strange one for me. i'm officially in the "home stretch" of my bachelors program. the end is near... only something like 197 days left (but i'm not counting!). the graduation application has been submitted and approved pending i pass my remaining 24 credits between now and july 23. the strange part is that i now have to start planing my life... and like i've mentioned earlier... i'm not ready to do that!!! also, i'm realizing that there are so many more factors in this life decision then i ever thought. its so overwhelming!!!

growing up... let's not and say we did!

the recent past has forced me to make some real decisions about my life... and in all honesty... i don't want to do any of it! whatever happened to the age where grown-ups were this alien idea? i always dreamed of who i'd be when i grew up... for some reason, "confused and starving college student" just wasn't something i saw!!!!
this week is finals week... the last week of the semester... the most stressful and stress relieving week known to man... the week that pizza sales quadruple... ; ) when this term is over i will be 28 short weeks of school away from graduation! that's less than 200 days left before society tells me i have to start my life!!!! where is never-never land when you really need it?!?!?! i have no idea what in the world i'm going to do with my life. and i don't even know how to begin solving this crisis...

insainity is a myth... i promise!

i've often thought of blogs as silly and useless... sometimes i think they are just a lame excuse to brag about life... and have you noticed that blogs totally promote internet creeping... a.k.a.... stalking!!! but i'm beginning to see the cleaver usefulness of these blogs... its totally an excuse to talk to yourself!! if i blogged every conversation i had with myself i would be the most frequent blogger ever.... people always tell me that "talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity" well i say "talking to yourself is just blogging without a computer!" haha!
so i'm sitting here... in my warm apartment in the ice box i live in called rexburg, idaho... sadly i am actually listening to christmas music, and i know its not even thanksgiving yet, so i apologize for my pre-holiday excitment. i just finished a paper that i wish to entitle "the bane of my existence" however i'm not sure my ballet instructor will appreciate that!
let me tell you about this paper for a moment... i had to write about a certain section of body (my teacher asked me to write about the hip), i was supposed to talk about the bones, muscles, ligaments, arteries, and nerves that are associated with this area. then i had to expand on how this specific section helps a ballet dancer in executing leaps, turns, plies, kicks, and other just adventures. now you must admit this is quite tedious, but maybe not torturous... however, i have a serious hip problem that prevents me from really succeeding in my dancing... hence my left hip as been dubbed "the bane of my existence." my instructor knows i constantly struggle with this hip problem and that is why she specifically asked me to write about the hip. the best part is while i opened my anatomy book (which is quickly move up the "bane of existence" list) and familiarized myself with each bone and muscle... i think each different bone and muscle ached while i read more about it... in fact just thinking of laterally rotating inside my hip joint in order to abduct my femur makes me cringe.
so anyway... i'm finally finished with said paper... and i've lost all motivation to do anything else productive, so naturally i began have a conversation (out loud, of course) with myself... this prompted me to log on and blog away! this in a way is saving my sanity... the more often i talk to myself the less often i talk to real people... haha! i still have plenty of energy and could be doing so much with my time... because lets face it... i have tons to do before i go home for thanksgiving.
while we're talking about thanksgiving, i just need to mention that i am so freaking excited beyond human description to go home!!! i get to see my family, i get to get the hell out of rexburg, and... i get to be with my man!!!!!! i remember in middle school, relationships really only ever took place on the weekends at the movies, yet you still saw the other person everyday (becasue they were in your class of course). then in high school you got to add lunch to the date time, and potential hang outs after school, but class schedules started to differ more... it seems as you get old the less you see your significant other, yet you crave them more. its been about a month since i last saw my man... and let me tell you... if i had to wait one more day i would probably loose all self control and murder some stranger or something. funny how people become so much more important to you too....